“One must work hard at remaining stupid.”
You Lucky Bastard, the new dark comedy by Philip Loyd, is the story of dysphoric and dissociated brainiac Arlen Schmeck. Dissociated, that is, until the girl of his dreams moves into the Santa Monica apartment building where he lives.
Schmeck, a germaphobe, agoraphobe, and obsessive compulsive who lives most his life through a peephole, can’t keep his eye off his new neighbor. It’s not long until his fixation turns into a spyhole love affair. A fateful turn of events, however, soon forces him out into the open.
Next thing he knows, worlds are colliding. Arlen falls head over heels, only to find that his new neighbor, Nurse Fannie, is not the delicate flower he imagined her to be. Thus begins a courtship in what has to be the most maddening and manic love story ever told.
Throw into the mix a mad scientist from down the hall, a motley crew of malcontent friends, a serial killer on the loose, and a seemingly endless parade of washouts, burnouts, phonies and freaks, and you’ve got something along the lines of Love Story meets Seinfeld meets Catcher in the Rye.
“Philip Loyd’s You Lucky Bastard grabbed me from the very opening lines. With a punch worthy of Hunter S. Thompson and an intellect comparable to Chuck Palahniuk’s, Loyd weaves a hypnotic narrative that never lets the reader off the hook. You Lucky Bastard is an irreverent, hilarious and deeply impressive debut.” —Jeremy Masseym, Author of The Last Four Days of Paddy Buckley (Penguin/Random House)
“You’d have to be a bibliophobe to not fall head over heels for Philip Loyd’s insanely addictive novel, You Lucky Bastard, featuring one of modern literature’s more remarkable protagonists, Arlen Schmeck.” —Chris Belden, Author of Shriver (Simon & Schuster)
“Philip Loyd isn’t just funny and witty, his writing is interesting and full of intricate details that show what a great researcher he is, as well.” —Nahid Rachlin, Recipient of the Doubleday-Columbia Fellowship; Author of Persian Girls (Penguin/Random House)
“Through the peephole! Endearingly eccentric Arlen Schmeck’s wonderland is his very own apartment building. As ghastly as it is entertaining, You Lucky Bastard serves up a page-turning mystery riddled with bizarre facts and an unforgettable cast of crazy characters.” —Sherri Browning Erwin, Author of Jane Slayer (Simon & Schuster)
Read an excerpt from You Lucky Bastard
Want to know the real reason the polar ice caps are melting? It’s not what you think. It’s not carbon emissions, deforestation, solar activity, or any of the other reasons They want you to believe. The real reason the polar ice caps are melting is because they are currently the staging areas for a microbial invasion force from outer space.
See what Greg Gutfeld of Fox News had to say about Philip Loyd’s The Accident.
Come see Philip Loyd on, of all places, Forbes.com
Philip Loyd is now doing interviews, of all things. That’s right, your exalted Flashbytes founder Philip Loyd is in this month’s issue of Focus on Fiction, with Nancy Christie. Come check out the insane interview with the author of YLB & 99 Bullets on “Short Takes: Interviews with Short Story Writers.” Read it now at NancyChristie.com.
About the Author
Philip Loyd loves fat chicks and cheap beer, though not necessarily in that order. He has worked for both Forbes and McGraw Hill, each time running for his life as if waking up from a bad dream. His goal is to one day move to Hollywood, shack up with Sandra Bernhard, and win a Razzie. Until then, he lives with his mom in Dumbass, Texas.